Truth Talkin’ Thursday: Episode #101

Jane and I decided to start off the next 100 episodes here with a chat about community-what it means to be in ‘community’ and how they are important to us as people. Do we need to be involved in ‘community’ in order to feel that we belong? How do you express your sense of community? I mentioned that I can be a part of a ‘community’ and yet not actually be a physical part. what are you feelings about ‘community’–do you feel as though you belong to a larger purpose and if you do then what happens to your individuality and the concept of being comfortable in your skin.

Check out the rest of our chat by clicking on the arrow on the link below. Thanks for stopping by–enjoy, All the best, Jim

Send comments to me at: jim.lifechoice@gmail.com

What Were They Thinking ? . . . (Re-posted From October 13, 2013)

In light of recent events south of us I went back to a past article I posted on a related topic. I don’t want this opening paragraph to come off like I am defending men or the decisions some make or have made. Not in the least. I offer this as an opinion or partial explanation as to these recent events and how confusing things can get. I also offer this thought for males and females both. Careful the places you find yourself–what are the messages that are being sent, received and acted upon or responded to.

Now that there is a new ass sitting on the Supreme Court bench it is safe to say that the rule of law and it’s meaning are in decline. If nothing else Kavanaugh should have been held in contempt of court for lying under oath about his drinking history. Those lies remain undisputed. Even if Ford’s story had too many claims that could not be proven under the rules and regulations laid out by the White House, he should have been held accountable for the ‘bullshit’ and the ‘B’ performance he put on at that table in that hall. And there is Trump in the background with that smug ugly face staring out at the world saying ‘hey, gotcha again.’ He is the absolute worst role model and the poorest example of strength and legitimacy that the citizens of the United States have ever had the misfortune of placing on the world stage for all to see.

As a parting thought here I thought that the hearings were worse than a cheap ‘B’ porn movie with the starring role played by a character called “Trump Kavanaugh”–just saying . . .

 

“What were they thinking. . . ?

Now that I’ve had a chance to think about this I find myself asking ‘what were they thinking?’

I have to admit that I am really confused, as a male and a human being about what the Y.U.N. chant thing was all about. But the big question for me was what the hell were these future pillars of society thinking about when they advocated the legalization of rape and child molestation? If they were trying to be challenging and controversial the only thing that has been accomplished here is the confirmation that supporters of this idea are not only misguided and bored but border on being misogynistic.

The main concern for me and the part that has me very confused is the number of females who were right in there supporting the whole premise. It didn’t seem to bother them that they were backing the idea that it is perfectly OK to force a young girl to have sex whether she wants to or not. So how young is too young? I mean underage is just that isn’t it? So when is it OK to feed alcohol to a 12 year old to the point where she is not aware or able to cry out for help? What ever happened to the arguments that women have been putting up for years now that say they and they alone are the arbiters of what they decide to do with their bodies? These young women who have supported this lunacy have set that whole discussion back to the stone ages. Truly now, if this was their sister we are talking about would they really feel the same way? Would they be all for it? And where are the women’s groups? I haven’t heard a great deal of criticism or dialogue involving those who have been advocating a ‘different’ deal for women. At the very least a clear statement of some kind speaking about respect and equality. Even just a touch of outrage.

And the men-I can’t call them men.  Are the males who support this so challenged and so unable to attract and develop a sexual relationship with someone who is functioning, emotionally, at about the same level that they need to pick on young girls who really are not equipped with the critical thinking that goes along with giving permission to share themselves with someone else in a meaningful way?  As a man, I’m embarrassed to say that this whole idea is about the same as reducing sex to scratching an itch on their ass. It is a conquest and a power-grab not an emotional act of any kind. This type of behavior is what clearly illustrates the growing lack of respect for self and others that seems to be so prevalent in the youth of today.

I have an adult son and daughter. My son and his wife have blessed us with a beautiful granddaughter. She’s two years old. If what this chant is promoting ever happened to either daughter or granddaughter, at any age, and I were to confront the perpetrators I would not report them. I might, however, bind their testicles with a liberal piece of piano wire secured to the bumper of my car and let them know that for as long as they can run they can keep them attached.

Perhaps a bit radical but then again so is this absurd idea that it’s OK to take what you can regardless of how the other person feels about things.

That’s how I see it anyway, Jim”

Comments?–Send them to me at: jim.lifechoice@gmail.com

(Use of this photo is for education, research and/or offering criticism. I derive no financial benefit from the use of this image)

Truth Talkin’ Thursday: Episode #100

Jane and I talk about fear in a different context than the usual one. We also talk about the reasons we started doing Truth Talkin’ Thursdays and what it means to work in service to others. We share what each of us got from speaking out and where we hope to go from here. Check it out to see how you could become a part of what we are doing. Let us know at: jim.lifechoice@gmail.com  OR  jterdik@hotmail.com

https://youtu.be/SSW7E3Pq48Y

Where Have All The Voices Gone?

As I periodically tune into what is happening in the United States and I wonder what has become of the once proud and globally respected nation it was, I question where have all the voices gone? Unfortunately the few Republicans who still garner any kind of respect from those out side of Trump’s puppets have lost their voices. It’s the worst case of collective laryngitis ever recorded in the history of “their” country as Trump calls it.

I have stayed away from spending time swiping at and castigating Trump and his posse. They continue to dominate the news broadcasts on a regular basis to the point where CNN has dedicated several prime time spots to providing a regular report of the lunatics at work. These spots have become part of their broadcast menu.  CNN has complained about the tactics that Trump employs to deflect interest or attention from screw ups or poorly thought out policy decisions he has made. Yet they promote these deflections by pointing out or focusing on the fact that he is doing it again–HELLO CNN-you guys are becoming part of his tactic. How much important national or global business stuff has happened in the last while besides insulting Canada on any occasion he can take advantage of? I speak here about NAFTA which is now the USMCA as demanded by Trump.

It is truly a sad and very poorly developed soap opera. I get that he is truly a mentally ill human being. There can be no doubt about this fact–no fake news here. According to the DSM-5 he exhibits most if not all of the characteristics of NPD–Narcissistic Personality Disorder. There are many who also suggest he demonstrates many of the signs of being a Sociopath. Good guy to have near the button–right?

It seems, however, that folks have become less interested in what he has accomplished and more interested in knowing or hearing about what craziness and absurdities he has conjured up now. TV news programs are becoming obsessed with being the one who brought him “down.” They really do go beyond the news that we need to know sometimes. Is the world any closer to getting rid of this sad soul? I’ll believe that when I see it happen. I still believe that if there was a total blackout of public news broadcasts concerning Donald J. Trump he would disappear as well or do something so outrageous that they would finally remove him from office. The powers that be would need to be sure that the regulatory infrastructure-the checks and balances designed to ensure that no one can run away with the keys to Fort Knox, weren’t in his pocket. Then shut him out of the “limelight.” He MUST be in the headlines all the time–at least he believes so in order for him to flourish.

The title of this article is “Where have all the voices gone?” Indeed-where have they gone? Where have the women’s groups gone. We haven’t heard much from them in quite awhile. It’s difficult to believe that there are any self-respecting women out there who would vote for this guy ever again. If they gathered together to join forces they could almost take him out all by themselves. He has done things to women or supports everything that women tell us they despise. Well ladies we are not seeing or hearing a great deal of that sentiment voiced out there right now or ever since he got into the White House for that matter. There needs to be daily or weekly protests and marches . Women’s groups need to show up at his rallies and disrupt things a bit. “Me Too” sure kicked up some dust in their beginning but not so much these days.

The only disgrace that is being talked about in Washington these days is the fact that Kavanaugh has had to defend himself (Mitch McConnell). I submit that the only disgrace is that he still has a chance to sit on the Supreme Court Bench. All this and I haven’t mentioned the African American community. How can African Americans of ANY political stripe or religion cast a single vote for this guy. Short memories I guess. I wonder what ML King would have said? How can any African American citizen support this guy when he openly supports the White Supremacists. And where have the “balls” that used to be tied to Mitch McConnell, Paul Ryan, Lindsey Graham, Marco Rubio, Rand Paul to name a few–gone. At least Jeff Flake was able to find his and only because he didn’t have to fear the wrath of Donald J. Trump. Sen. Flake is not running for re-election. It’s like these guys were neutered or something. How much is enough guys or has everything decent that the US had stood for been sold off to the highest bidder? Where have all the voices gone?

Anyways, that’s how I see things, All the best and thanks for stopping by, Jim

comments to: jim.lifechoice@gmail.com

 

Are Our Lives Really Just A Day Long . . ?

As I have come to understand my life started out as most do. I woke up and it was dark as usual. It seemed like I had been asleep or resting for a long time. Then all I remember was I was moving. I was going somewhere and it was a bumpy ride. I wasn’t liking this much. All of a sudden I noticed this small light ahead. It kept getting bigger and bigger-brighter and brighter until-BANG-I was in a whole different place. Some of me was in-some of me was out (I think it was out) and it was cold. There was a lot of noise now and I was not happy about being here. Before I knew it the long ride was over. Hands were all over me and then someone smacked me and I wanted to scream Hey!What’d I do? Someone picked me up and I felt warmer. Well I wasn’t sure about whether or not I was going to like this place so I started to wail. What I really wanted was to go back to familiar territory. One thing for sure was I was hungry. At least I think that’s what I felt-hunger? Next thing I knew I ended up with this big soft thing that I could put my head on and if I squeezed it stuff would come out. It was warm and not bad.

This was the beginning of my day known as “Morning.” (the morning of my life)

Time passed me by and I got to the point where I was tired of being carried around so the first chance I had I started to learn about being mobile. Big people that I had come to recognize as my parents helped me and soon I was able to go from here to there with little injury.

Soon I went to a place where other people like me were hanging out. They were dealing with the same issues as I was. Bathrooms and what was supposed to happen in there. Not being able to capture that thing with legs but didn’t look like any of us was frustrating and when I did get it and pulled it’s head it got angry and other people rushed to take it away from me.

Sooner it seemed I went to a place called school but I saw less of the people who used to spend a great deal of time with me and then I started to ride a thing called a bus. That was fun for a while. I went to a “bigger school” with crazier people although some of them did things that made me laugh.

I think they called my next stop “public school.” My days seemed longer-sometimes really hot-sometimes really cold and sometimes not much fun. One day my parents told me I had to “work” doing things around the house. Most of that entailed cleaning up messes that I had made. Then I had to learn how to be nice? to other people. I didn’t know why but they said it was the right thing to do-so I did it. Turned out they were right. The longer I was around the more they taught me and the more I felt OK doing it. As it turned out I stopped going to these “smaller schools” and started to go to bigger places with more people than ever and I was learning strange stuff I really didn’t want to know about.  This time space, as it turned out, was called the “Afternoon” of my life.  This was really a great time for me. Freedom to do what I wanted. I met some interesting people who dressed and talked differently than I. Some wore dresses, some had long hair, some had beards and mustaches and some were called “hippies”. Music was great, I entered a relationship with alcohol and cannabis which I believed would lead me to a greater understanding of the universe. Truthfully it ended up being a most tumultuous relationship and not always ending well. I learned that girls were more fun to be around than they used to be and I learned about respecting other peoples opinions and values and rights. Along about this point I started to tune out most of the adult voices in my life in favor of  younger more dymanic voices. This was my second great mistake. I stopped listening to my parents and older folks figuring they were out of step and didn’t know what people like me needed to know. I missed so much of their wisdom and knowledge. They had been where I was going. I regret that decision now.

Eventually it became time to get serious about how my life was going to be spent and I started on a career path that was an awful choice. I did it for a long time reconciling the choice with the idea that this is what folks do to raise a family and buy a home and have toys and things. I learned that I alone was responsible for being the author of my own story. As it turned out it was a great time to be alive. There was a vibrancy all round. I needed my parents to guide me and to listen to me but I never asked them. I thought I knew better. I didn’t.

I had my family and changed my career in mid stream-good move. I had struggled to learn but learn I did. I managed to get it right, at least for me, and I’m good with how it all turned out. This has been and continues to be the“Evening” of my day. I’m still healthy; I still have enough energy to do most of what I want and most of the time the means to do it. I realized some successes and I continue to use some good advice “from back there” that, somehow stuck with me.

The last stage of my day is “Twilight” and although I’m not there yet I will be soon enough.

There are seven points that I’d like to share:

  • value what you have learned no matter how you learned it.
  • never pass up a chance to learn something new-even at this stage of your day.
  • don’t get caught up with what others are doing or not doing.
  • don’t suffer stupid people easily.
  • never forget who your friends are.
  • patience is often over rated.
  • time is your most valuable resource

Anyways, that’s how I see things. Thanks for stopping by, All the best, Jim

jim.lifechoice@gmail.com

 

 

Truth Talkin’ Thursday: Episode #99

This week Jane and I talk about the state of our families and the state of our community. We come at those issues from a different place yet we arrive at the same place at the end of our discussion.

My point during this video is that as parents we used to teach our children their life lessons by the verbal messages we sent. We would tell our kids what is acceptable and what isn’t. We would help them understand that there are rules that we need to live by otherwise we will live in chaos and violence. Is that the type of world that we want to live in? Today we parent our kids much differently. Today our kids learn from us by the messages we don’t send. If we don’t stand up and say what needs to be said–if we are no committal or silent  then our children assume that it must be OK otherwise they meaning parents would have said something.

Check out the rest of our conversation by clicking on the link below. IF you have a comment get it to me by going to my web site at jimcloughley.com  OR  by sending me an email at jim.lifechoice@gmail.com

Have You Really Thought About The Quality Of Your Child’s Public Education?

Who sees your kids more than you do? School teachers. Who has more opportunity to influence your kids than you do? School systems. Yet parents, for the most part, spend less time speaking about or thinking about what is happening at school and what are they being taught. We send them off in the morning expecting to see them at the end of the day but beyond that we don’t give their day much thought. We assume that they are looked after and that they are learning something useful. We trust schools and school systems to know how to do their job and we just accept the fact that when they graduate they will do fine “out there.” That is happening less and less on many fronts.

I often wonder how many parents actually take time at the end of the day to talk with their kids and ask about what they learned at school that day or how did school go today or what was something you learned today that you didn’t know anything about? In other words what happened that was interesting.

And so it goes. Each day the kid goes off to a place that parents know little about being told or given tons of data/facts that really don’t have much relevance to the kids everyday living experience and we, as parents, can’t understand why our kids aren’t crazy about going to school each day and doing better. Could it be that school is long, boring, and not much fun? There are any number of kids that would say the same thing when they get home at the end of the day. It was boring and they ask why they have to learn that stuff. Plus they have an hour or more homework to do for tomorrow and they don’t have a clue how to do it or what to do about it.

They sit in a classroom 6 rows across and 5 rows deep or vice versa for hours listening to a talking head fire data/information at them with the expectation that they will “get it.” And we can’t understand why some kids are trouble makers, disruptive or hard to manage. How many of those get diagnosed with ADD and put on meds?

Many questions remain when I think about the relevance of the current pedagogy and the value and relevance of the curriculum that is presented each new school year.  Talk to some of the teachers and they will tell you what they think is going on but no one seems to hear what it is they are saying. They are trying to tell us that “we have to change how we do school-this system isn’t working.”

Along with those concerns is the bigger problem being the reluctance to change anything or update the overall approach of the public school system as it stands.

I know this much and that is that the system has become virtually unresponsive to the issues being mentioned. It needs to change dramatically and almost immediately if we hope to offer our children a chance to compete with other kids from other countries for challenging, rewarding and high paying jobs.

So how do we do that? Parents–whoever and wherever you are you need to get involved with what is happening with your kids future. That means you will have to become better informed about the options out there for your kids to gain an education that will help prepare them for the professional challenges of the 21st century. There are more options available than you know. The public system, although preferable, is not the only option. But to become more informed you need to talk to your kids and ask the right questions. Be prepared to listen to them because they are the experts on what is or is not working in today’s classrooms. They know what the changes are that need to be made and why they need to be made.

With a great deal of passion, assistance and input from a well informed and motivated group of colleagues and educators I have spent the last three years creating a new approach to educating our kids that addresses many of the issues I mentioned above.

First thing needed is to understand what some of the options are. Check out the differences and the pros and cons of Charter schools, magnet schools, public schools, private schools and home schooling. Once you understand some of the differences and the similarities you can now ask the important questions from the school board members and the trustees and you’ll know more about the quality and validity of the answers you get in return.

I’ll be writing much more about this topic in the weeks to come. I’ll share some of the solutions and suggestions that we came up with as a result of our research and from some of the actual experiences some of my colleagues had that worked in their classrooms but were never considered alternatives or even food for thought.

The following statement is the goal that we have identified for our group. It can be done but only if the parents who really care about the quality and the opportunity their kids receive speak up and are heard.

“To offer a new paradigm regarding a free, non-discriminatory, local, national, and global learner centered education program that merges enthusiasm, participation, and excitement with each learner’s unique differences, a capacity for high performance, and an innate desire to maximize self.”

I’ll be absent next week but I’ll write more about this in two weeks. Eventually I will provide an outline of the program we develop on my web page at jimcloughley.com

Anyways, that’s how I see things, all the best, Jim

 

 

Truth Talkin’ Thursday: Episode #98

Join Jane and I this week as we talk about decisions we make and whether or not we make them considering how they might affect those around us. We often find ourselves in positions of needing to make or wanting to make a decision or decisions that are in our best interests. Is that selfish or is it the way people grow and progress? Any decisions we make have the potential to be  life changing for us. Do we just go ahead and make the change or further the decision we set in motion or should we and do we have the obligation to tell others around us what we are doing ahead of time knowing that they will be affected by what we have decided to do?

Enjoy the conversation and send me your thoughts about what you have heard. Thanks for tuning in–all the best, Jim

jim.lifechoice@gmail.com

 

 

Dress Code? Uniforms? What Would You Wear To Work?

There is a growing controversy centered on or around what kids are wearing to school these days. Out of this comes the debate about whether or not schools need to implement a policy about wearing a school uniform while attending school, imposing a dress code or allowing students to determine their own ideas of “what is appropriate for school” attire. It seems that the last idea is losing ground to the school uniform supporters. Where do the parents fit into all of this?

I often wonder if the parents even care about what their kids look like when they go to school each morning? Does it make any difference to them if Susie is wearing a little top that exposes her red bra and a generous portion of her chest or that Billy has decided to wear his new Joe Boxer underwear with the blue waist band and the generous view of his back side along with the bulk of his jeans hanging in a pile around his knees as he tries valiantly to walk down the front steps to the bus? I think the only people who REALLY care are the manufacturers of the jeans who are grabbing 70 bucks a pair and saying how cool he looks!! I feel badly for Billy in that it seems he can’t determine how to wear his hat. Front to back or back to the front? Does the beak point more to one side or the other?

It’s the schools which seem to be caught in the middle trying to be politically correct and yet trying to support the idea that kids need to be able to express their identities and their characters. Nice way to dodge the responsibility of setting reasonable standards.

To begin with there needs to be some serious dialogue offered to the “rocket scientists” who seem content on blaming a great deal of this controversy on the female population suggesting that dress codes are needed to curb the temptations they project onto the poor defenseless male populations in the school. Apparently these females are compromising the males ability to concentrate on the subject matter and therefore are in danger of not doing well in school. Perhaps they are not doing well because the curriculum is failing to deliver a source of interest for these unfortunate young men and some of the half naked females are a pleasant diversion.

First of all we need to look at the motivation behind the behavior which in this case is the propensity of adolescents to push the boundaries. Kids are being asked/expected to act like adults so they will promote themselves as adults. However, the idea that women should be identified and singled out as the main part of the “problem” is absurd and even more so when they are being told that THEY need to change but the males are free to carry on.

Advertisers and designers have, for years, been the driving force behind how our youth present themselves to the public at large. Nothing has changed except they have focused more on the idea that less is better and suggests more freedom of expression which is, of course, our kids right. So fashion sends the messages to the world in general: It’s more difficult to be accepted if you are not”fashionable.” Tattoos, the car you drive or the shoes you wear are often about the message you want to send to others around you. Males and females have now taken to carrying guns and knives as a way of sending messages to those around them especially at school. Weapons like this have almost become another part of the “current school uniform” as sad as that is to say.

Then there is the style that many kids-females and males alike-demonstrate. Gansta for one, other gang affiliations, the ‘tough guy’ look meant to intimidate and so on. I always think about what the message is supposed to be that these folks are trying to send the rest. Put that inclination in a school setting and there is a recipe for disaster and turmoil and puts education on the back burner for sure.

Lets not lose sight of the prime objective and that is to establish schools as safe and encouraging environments in which to learn. If schools represent the opportunity to learn, grow and develop the skills that will help us live our lives with success as we have defined it. How does getting caught up in the dress code vs. uniform debate help anything. It really has nothing to do with free choice or economics. The choice should not be about dress codes ect. The choices open to learners and the parents of those learners needs to be–are you going to school or not?

Learners need to dress for success meaning in this case that they dress each day as though they were going to work. How would you dress if you were going to work in an office space or as a professional of some sort? The first thing that needs to be done is to show some respect for where you are earning a living. Go to school dressed the same way. It’s an expectation not a debate.

Anyways, that’s how I see things. Thanks for stopping by, all the best, Jim

Comments can be made by contacting me at: jim.lifechoice@gmail.com

(Photo, by abj.eics.ab.ca, is used for education, research or for the purposes of offering criticism only. I derive no financial benefit from the use of this image)

PS–My colleagues and I will soon be unveiling portions of our new paradigm for educating and preparing our kids for the 21st Century. It will revolutionize the way they learn and will do it better than we do it now.  More on this in a couple of weeks.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Truth Talkin’ Thursday: Episode #97

Jane and I talk about a topic we have been kickin’ around for awhile and that’s parenting–how our approach has changed how our efforts have changed and how our beliefs, values and message has changed. Kids are growing up faster than ever physically but not so much emotionally and mentally. Although there is always danger in speaking about “absolutes”–(all kids or all parents) it is no secret that many parents have all but stopped being parents in the traditional sense and the kids are paying a high price and so is society and our communities. Yes there are some great kids doing wonderful things but many more who are lost and aimless willing to live from moment to moment. Check out our conversation regarding how we see things today. Comments are welcomed at jim.lifechoice@gmail.com–all the best, Jim

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