Truth Talkin’ Thursday: Episode #92

This week Jane and I get back to the topic of relationships and discussing the one thing above all others that will help connect a man to that relationship more deeply than love or sex. Once this simple factor is forgotten or not considered important any more usually signals the beginning of the end of even the healthiest relationships. To know more about this topic click on the link below and then ask yourself if this relates to you in some way.

Any questions or comments please send them to me at:   jim.lifechoice@gmail.com and I’ll get back to you.

 

 

What Are Kids Saying About All This?

This doesn’t happen very often. It is both scary and exciting. I’m speaking about an opportunity to witness the creation of a new unique and life defining development in the history of mankind. Sounds a bit over the top, I know, but when seen in context to other remarkable human kind developments it really isn’t. Consider that most innovations are created with the idea of being a great service to humans but inevitably someone figures out how to use the great innovations for negative purposes. Lets look at a list of ten big ones:

10. Splitting the atom–nuclear power

9.   The airplane

8.   The personal computer

7.   The television

6.   Rocketry-being able to beat gravity

5.   The automobile

4.   The submarine

3.   Antibiotics

2.   The internet

1.    The radio

Now we can add 3D printing to the list of notable inventions and innovations. This is Star Trek stuff just a few years ago. Along with these innovations and inventions comes a huge responsibility for society to deal with and unfortunately that means governments will get to determine how the world will respond to 3D printer guns. Charles de Gaulle once said that “politics is too serious a matter to be left to the politicians.” This is my concern as well. If there is a way to screw it up they will find it. All the powerful will weigh in on this topic because there is either too much money to be made or lost. Either way society will have little to say about any outcomes.

Will the discussion focus on societies rights vs. individual human rights? Will the professional spinners (lobbyists) pervert the 1st and 2nd amendments yet again? Should it be the responsibility of government or the public at large being the people who elected the government officials in the first place. Both these groups should have an equal say in something so huge. This is the stuff that changes whole civilizations. I think about the first responders and how much they will need to change policy to survive. Anyone–ANYONE who has a gripe against a police officer, firefighter, EMS person, ambulance divers and the list goes on will become a target every time they go to work. How will that play out with the civil servants who are already dealing with shredded nerves. Try walking down a dark alley sometime late at night and wondering about who you might bump into or whether or not you’ll see your kids in the morning for breakfast. The police and others are already chastised for reacting to quickly to what the police believe are life threatening situations. Think about how it will be now when anyone could have a a gun capable of blowing your brains out. Hey, let’s pay them less and stress them out even more. I don’t think we can pay them enough to keep us safe-not now anyway.

I am not interested in sowing the seeds of paranoia and conspiracies. However, the reality is that no one will be safe from anyone who wants to make a point. No way of knowing which gang has what or which kid had a bad day at school or if his/her relationship just fell apart and he/she wanted someone to pay for that so BANG. Ooops, gee I’m sorry it won’t happen again. There is already a dearth of consequences for choices made in the judicial system so where will this go now? It seems that we make laws based on how much we can save the system if we excuse this or extend that. This is a train wreck waiting to happen–one that we are extremely ill prepared to deal with.

There will be NO way of tracking who has a gun now. No way of knowing how big and powerful it might be. I haven’t mentioned the threat from foreign agents/terrorists who will be a great deal more difficult to identify. I’m thinking that we are a great deal closer to a modern day “wild, wild west” then we were a year or two ago.

The group that I would be most interested in hearing from are the kids out there who have to live in this crap and fear everyday. When I say kids I’m referring to those who are teenagers and up. It’s their world as well and in some cases they have been hit much harder than the adults have. Let’s hear what they have to say. They seem to be much more energetic and creative about resolving these gun control issues that we adults struggle with.

Anyways, that’s how I see things.

All the best and thanks for stopping by, all the best, Jim

To  make a comment or two please send it to me at: jim.lifechoice@gmail.com

(photo image by utube.com. Image used for research, education or criticism. I derive no financial benefit from the use of this image.)

 

 

So I’m Hearing Big Business Can’t Be Trusted . . .

Where was this picture taken?–could be anywhere. It seems this scene is becoming more and more common place these days. This could be the town YOU live in. Let’s hope that this pic wasn’t taken on an ordinary day.

There are, of course, pros and cons to the cap and trade program but for me one of the benefits of living with a cap and trade policy is that the quality of the air that ALL of us breathe will be better. We can only hope that water pollution and earth bound pollution would be positively affected as well. I’m thinking about my granddaughter and other peoples’ grandchildren and their children. What gives us the right to condemn them to a life of illness or cancer or lung disease. They don’t even get to have a say in what happens to them. Actually, they not likely think too much about pollution. Inherently they believe that the adults in their lives will protect them from the bad things that could happen to them. How we doin’ so far?

Meanwhile morons like the one just elected would spend 30 million dollars of our money fighting to open the gates to big business so they can continue to screw us over under the guise of working in our best interests.

Government paid lobbyists and spin artists will be paid millions of dollars to tell us why they are right and we aren’t. Just a minute–Our newly elected government citing fiscal responsibility as part of its platform will spend 30million dollars on court costs and fees and pay professional spinners many millions more so that big business can make more money by using our environment as one huge toilet. All of this while claiming to be operating in our best interests. Really? Don’t you just love politics.

To be clear if big business grew some “nuts” and worked to support the general population and to promote a sense of responsibility and true citizenship we wouldn’t need a cap and trade policy. This is more about their greed and egotism and yet they ask us why we don’t trust them to act in our best interests. To be clear I’m all for profit on investment but how much is enough and at what cost?

Anyone remember the”acid rain” concerns in the 80’s? It’s interesting to note that the U.S. has had a cap and trade program to curb sulphur dioxide and nitrous oxide emissions in effect since the 80’s and it is still in play without any of the ‘fears’ of the naysayers coming true. Emissions have been reduced by 50% with no negative ramifications to big business. The big winner has been the environment and a generally healthier population.

So some of the general concerns pro and con:

Businesses that have chosen to be more responsible concerning the environment can actually make a profit from a cap and trade situation. For instance, If they have already lowered their emissions below what they would be assessed at they can sell the balance of their emission allotment for cash. The cash would come from those companies who haven’t been able to or haven’t bothered to be responsible partners on the planet and are now required to lower their emissions or be penalised in order to continue to do business.

The government can also purchase emission credits and then resell those same credits at increased values to companies who are not in compliance and need to be or continue to be fined. The money that is raised either by fines or by selling emission credits would then be used to fund the development of new energy sources that would benefit businesses as a whole.  As capitalists there are times when we need to understand that to make money sometimes money has to be spent. Business cannot continue to suck the daylights out of the very people who contribute to their bottom line. Those companies who are forward thinking will be and should be rewarded for their foresight and their diligence–progressive thinking helps as well.

To those businesses who are whining about not being able to compete because of unfair differences of production costs I say–“If you can’t stand the heat get out of the kitchen”–can’t compete that’s your problem. Isn’t that what business says to us?

Perhaps some kind of a sliding scale of tax credits for equipment bought to lower emissions? Perhaps business could suggest something. Perhaps we could all work together with the best interests of everyone in mind not just those looking to get to the bank more often.

Anyways, that’s how I see things, all the best, Jim

(Photo image by cnn.com. Used for research, criticism and/or educational purposes. I derive no financial benefit from the use of this image)

Comments to: jim.lifechoice@gmail.com

 

 

 

What’s The Big Deal With Killing ?

Quick-get your guns so we can kill these animals. The little ones will be big ones soon anyway so what’s the difference?

There is so much killing going on everywhere these days and I am having a hard time understanding why. I get it on some level. People are  frustrated and resentful and mean spirited and angry–so much anger abounds. We seem to be losing the spiritual and emotional connection we had with life not too long ago. Life meant something as a standard. That’s what concerns me the most. What are we doing to each other animals or humans and why? To experience what satisfaction? What do we get out of blowing some innocent animal or person away just because we can?

Within the past week there was a shooting in Toronto where a young woman (18) was shot dead and a ten year old died as well. Many others were taken to local hospitals and cared for with many receiving emergency and life saving treatment. Then I see a picture of some rich kid standing in front of her latest conquest. She had managed to kill a rare black giraffe–oh wow-good for her! Some feat this was. She was pictured in front of the dead animal after, no doubt, doing a victory lap. She was quoted as saying her prayers had been answered. Rack up another one for GOD I guess. For her part she had been tracking a giraffe, with the help of a guide who should be ashamed of himself or herself, armed with a high powered rifle and a scope sight that could see a flea from 300 yards. Now there is a challenge for ya. My point in question here is the skilled and talented huntress gets a pat on the back by those as sad as she is and the man who shot all these people gets labelled with a mental health disorder of some kind and yet they both indiscriminately murdered living creatures. We are not talking here about ants or spiders either. So my question is what is it about murdering living things that gets some people all jacked up. If it’s about the culmination and thrill of the hunt then hunt with freakin’ camera bozo. Shoot a frame and not a bullet.

Look at the picture of this lioness. Look at her posture and the look on her face and tell me that she doesn’t love her offspring just the same as the human parent who lost her child or children. Does this lioness feel pain when she knows that her babies are dead? I’m thinking she does. One is called sport and the other a tragedy. They are both tragedies to me. Why do we have to kill anything at all in order to feel ‘good’ or excited. There is something terribly wrong with that. Get some help. Really.

The truly amazing part of all this, to me, is that we are no closer to understanding the purpose–the rational–the satisfaction of killing other entities at will. Is it about “just because you can?” Do people become mass murderers as a result of a mental illness of some kind? No. There are many who slaughter others who are quite “sane”-so what’s going on with them?

When I think about young folks who are violent and who commit murder and mayhem on our streets and in our homes how much has social media , music, videos, movies, electronic games, horrible role models who are more evident every day who are obviously above the law, those who never seem to be held accountable for their behaviour and their decisions contributed to the newly developed “violent entitlement” culture of the young.

As parents perhaps our permissive parenting model needs some adjustments and the initial goals of pursuing that model need re-tooling a bit. This isn’t about blame this is about moving the pendulum back to the middle of the spectrum. Perhaps that move back needs to include more discussion about the sanctity of life for all creatures not just some.

Anyway, that’s how I see things–all the best, Jim

Comments will find me at: jim.lifechoice@gmail.com

(Photo image used under the “Fair Use” provision. I derive no financial benefit from the use of this image)

Truth Talkin’ Thursday: Episode #90

Greetings All–This week Jane and I talk about deadlines and how they cause us so much stress. We seem to have forgotten that we control the creation of deadlines and they should never control us. It’s more about planning than it is about they just happen. All of our discussions since we began doing these little videos has been about recognizing that the quality of life we seek is about what we are willing to do to make that happen.

So it becomes a matter of what each of us has to learn to do so that we remain the masters of our own universe. Happiness and peace of mind are not nebulous concepts beyond the grasp of “ordinary” people. They are the result of us maintaining control of what we do and how we do it. Take ownership and make it happen.

Check out the clip below to know more about how you can make that happen. Thanks for stopping by.

Please send your comments to : jim.lifechoice@gmail.com

 

One Thing That Men Need That Women May Not Realize

Over the course of time I have worked in this field I have worked with gay couples, older couples, younger couples, racially mixed couples, previously divorced couples, couples with blended families and whomever that leaves. The conventional wisdom suggests that counsellors at some time would ask the individuals to describe their view of what a relationship is and what does it take to make it successful. So off they go talking about the importance of trust, a similar sense of humour, similar likes and dislikes, respect, love, the need for acceptance of whom each is but seldom does either party mention the one element–the one statement that is vital to a relationship if there is going to be any harmony and joy. It doesn’t mean that a relationship couldn’t be created and functioning but it does mean that that 5% or so that many hold back gets committed as well–it’s ALL IN TIME and for some that’s hard to do.

Never having been female I can’t speak to what females feel or value outside of what conventional wisdom dictates. But I can state that in my opinion the male ego is likely the most “fragile” of all. The one thing most important to a man is to know that someone, hopefully his partner, believes in him. Sounds too simple to be true and yet there it is. When we look at the list of “ingredients” many women have that would describe a great relationship this “ingredient” is usually not there. How difficult is it then to develop a sense of trust in someone if you don’t believe in who he is or what he does or how he does it. Believing in someone means that we trust that person to do the right things; that he will keep his family provided for and safe no matter what happens; that he will “take the bullet” for the family because that is what a man does. A partner believes in his talent and skills as a man to do what needs to be done.

Now before anyone blows up here think about the next time that limb over the house needs to be trimmed back. Whose the likely candidate to grab the chain saw and climb the thirty feet to the top to trim the tree. He needs to feel that his loved one or ones believe he’ll get the job done–that he has the skills and the courage to get the job done because he is who he is.

It is difficult to move ahead and to succeed without someone telling us that they believe in us and that they have faith we can do whatever we want once we decide.

Amanda Marshall, an outstanding Canadian talent says it about as good as anyone when she sings I Believe In You. Take the time to listen to this great song to understand the full meaning of what I’m trying to say.

Anyways, that’s how I see things–all the best, Jim

Please let me hear from you about your feelings on this topic. send them to me at:  jim.lifechoice@gmail.com

 

 

(Photo image by islandweddingservices.com–used for education, research and/or criticism purposes only. I derive no financial benefit from the use of this image)

Truth Talkin’ Thursday: Episode #89

Jane and I take a light hearted but serous look at “guilt” and the idea that perhaps we look a bit too hard to find things to be guilty about. Sometimes others will expect things from us that we are not comfortable with and will not do them. Should we feel guilty about that? I say “no.” There are times when “not feeling guilty” is a good thing when those around us think we should. Double click on the arrow below for other examples and further discussion about this topic-it’s an important one-check it out.

Let me know what you think–comments to me at   jim.lifechoice@gmail.com

Truth Talkin’ Thursday: Episode #88

This week Jane and I went on the road for a wee ride to Pt. Abino Boat Club. Beautiful spot right on the water. Once there it was easy to relax and chat about being who we are really meant to be and how we waste so much of our precious time trying to be who we are not. We watch reality shows and wish that could be us. We watch “soaps” and take the place of one of the characters. My point was why is it so awful being “us”. We are special into this world and we bring skills and talents and a unique view of the world. All of our trials and experiences have prepared us to be who we are and we are meant to help others who struggle with who they are. Anyway–double click on the arrow below to hear the rest of the story.

Comments to: jim.lifechoice@gmail.com

All the best, Jim

What Does It Mean To Be Authentic?

I’ll try to keep this little meltdown “authentic.

The other day I was thinking about the struggles that some have around being who they really are. So few of us really know and understand who we are and what we are supposed to be doing. How are we supposed to respond to the things that go on around us? What are we supposed to think? How are we supposed to think? What happens if no one else feels as we do or sees things as we do or feels the same about things that happen as we do?

And my question is “why do we care?” And then I got to thinking about my own life and how it is going by so fast and the older I get the faster it goes. There is so much I have to do yet and not enough time to do it all.  Now I have written about this topic several times but this time it feels different somehow. Perhaps it is because I am still doing the work I do and many of my clients are people with real issues and real hurts. Some are so depressed and others are so lonely. Still others are just bewildered by life itself.

The one most common comment or factor if you like is that most, not all, but most spend much of their leisure hours watching reality shows. I cannot begin to tell you just how sad I feel that so many folks only feel alive when they are watching someone else living their dreams or what they believe is a magic world of some kind. There are many who believe that this is real life and they would be much, much happier if they could trade places with the people n the screen.

But it is not just reality shows as I’ve come to believe. It is about people who wish they were anyone but who they are. How sad is that?

There are those who spend thousands trying to look different physically. They gather the latest trends in fashion or style hoping to be blended into the crowd that is seen as “it.”  Appearance is everything because they are afraid to be who they really are. At what point did we become so insecure and so lost? We try so hard to be all things to all people that we forget who we are and how important that is. We want to be connected to other people so much so that we are willing to give up our own authenticity-our own identity and uniqueness. There is only one of us. Why would we want to give “us” away so that we could become like someone else? We need to celebrate who we are and how we became us.

My hope is that we can stop chasing dreams, phonies and folks who are trying desperately to be someone other than who they are. These people are acting out roles that have been scripted for them. Is that really who you want to be? Not me-not for a second.

One client asked me this week “how do I begin being authentic”–Number 1–start being real in terms of how you see the world. Don’t be afraid of being different-of not going along with the crowd and don’t be afraid of stating your mind-saying what you really feel, think and how you see things. Be willing to speak your truth about things. Afterall your thoughts and perspectives have value because they are yours. Don’t give away your power to someone else. You have as much right to be you as they do to be them.

Other qualities of an authentic person:

–They are open and sharing about things that they are passionate about. They don’t balk at wearing their feelings out where others can see them

–Learning is important to authentic people and so is learning from the mistakes they make.

–Usually indicate a clear understanding of reality

–They look for the best in others and celebrate their achievements

–They understand what motivates them.

–Their words and their actions are consistent

In this day and age where we live fast and loose we are forgetting about a very important part of our humanity and that is authenticity–being true to oneself and living a life filled with honesty and transparency, being able to look at ourselves in a mirror and like who and what we see, not being ego bound but rather able to share joy with others and to find the most important lessons within our own fields of experience.

Most importantly is the idea that we need to live for ourselves and for what we are passionate about and then call on our fortitude, strength, drive and conviction to follow that through. We need to see that passion become reality and not remain some fantasy. Even in the face of being alone and being criticized.

Anyways, that’s how I see things today.

Any comments can be made to jim.lifechoice@gmail.com

All the best, Jim

( Photo image by “joansanusi.com” used for education, criticism or research purposes only. I do not derive any financial benefit from the use of this image)

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