If this is your child, how do you communicate with him? It’s certainly possible and he is reaching out to be understood so how so you do that?
I may have mentioned this topic previously and if I did-read it again for the first time. It is great information and can really add to the quality of your life.
Have you ever wondered why your kids don’t always listen to you and you have to resort to raising your voice or threatening in some way? Have you ever wondered why you and a friend or a spouse have difficulty making yourselves heard by the other? Have you wondered why you have difficulty getting along with or communicating with co-workers or a boss or superintendent?
One of the reasons why this happens to us is because we are communicating in a way that makes sense to the other person involved. We have different personalities and so we process information differently.
It is a well researched fact that we, as human beings, possess characteristics and traits that help to make up our personalities. We have preferences we respond to and certain ways of dealing with crisis or stressful situations. We don’t ALL respond to these situations in the same manner.
Katharine Cook Briggs and her daughter Isabel Briggs Myers worked extensively on the whole topic of determining personality back in the early 1940’s. This idea of distinct personality types goes back to Pythagoras in ancient times so the topic has been investigated for quite some time.
A teacher by the name of Don Lowry, in 1978, created a way of determining personality types which actually represented basic learning styles. He called his program ‘True Colors’. In order to keep the learning styles separate and understood he assigned a color to each of the four identified types that described what each style demonstrated or indicated according to a person’s particular behaviour. Apparently he chose these particular colors because he didn’t want any possibility of connecting a color with a particular race or religion of any kind. Generally most people show a behavioural preference to one of the colors but can be influenced by the second most dominant color.
Gold characteristics-very stable and security minded; ‘on time’ people; good ‘soldiers’ meaning they followed instruction and direction well; are very much in tune with the ‘organization’ and are great planners and detail oriented. They tend to be very loyal.
Green characteristics-thinkers and researchers who need to answer the compelling questions of the day. Things like ‘ which came first the chicken or the egg’–they need to understand the reasons need to make sense.
Blue characteristics-very ‘people-oriented’. Blue folks are often more likely to be influenced by their emotions and more interested in how others are doing. They tend to be drawn to the arts and activities that demonstrate expression and feelings.
Orange characteristics-tend to be very good at multi-tasking and very spontaneous. Take on challenges often as a second thought. They generally are good with their hands and adapt reasonably well to physical challenges.
Personality types, of course, can be altered or changed depending on the environment and circumstances someone finds themselves in but for the most part the primary and secondary responses tend to be more likely.
Given this very brief description of the The Colors model, we can begin to see how understanding this important distinction could be very helpful when parenting more than one child in the family. The challenges begin when the parents try to parent the kids all with the same approach. It doesn’t work very well and the outcome tends to be struggle, conflict and disobedience. To be more successful parenting multiple kids first try to determine the kid’s personality type and then ‘talk’ to him/her or relate to him/her using language and behaviour that matches. It is highly unlikely that all the kids are of the same personality.
The True Color Model has a variety of applications. This is a wonderful tool to use in relationships and when delivered appropriately produces more positive outcomes and much less bickering and feeling misunderstood by each other. It can be used to communicate with co-workers and supervisors by observing their behaviour and listening to how they respond to particular questions you can figure out if they are Orange, Blue, Gold or Green. When you do, learn how to speak or treat them using their particular color characteristics to make yourself more clearly understood.
This is a model that NASA has used in the past. Corporations like General Electric have used this and still do in some areas. It works and it is simple to understand.
Go to the True Color website and locate workshops that are being offered in your area. I used to train the trainers so I am well versed with the model. It is well worth the money you will spend and the quality of your family’s life experience is likely to change noticeably.
Anyways, that’s how I see it.
All the best and thanks for stopping by, Jim
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