Frequently Asked Questions

Welcome to LifeChoice:

There are many commonly asked questions concerning “A Man’s Work Is Never Done . . . A Novel About Mentoring Our Sons” which I’m asked at public functions but there are 4 that are asked more often than others:

1. What gives me the right to speak on this issue as an expert?

I have been working in the field of human services for over 23 years much of that time as a counsellor in a residential drug and alcohol treatment center. During this time I have had the opportunity to speak with fathers who abandoned their sons for whatever reasons and how they feel now having done so. They speak about what they would do differently if they could. I also have had the opportunity to speak to sons who were abandoned by their fathers and the impact they believe that had on their development, how they see the world they live in and their place in that world today. Over that span of time the one thing that I recognized was this: although the people were different and the circumstances varied greatly the outcomes, the reports and the perspective of the sons were extremely similar. I have also been a single father to my two children and for all intents and purposes my father was certainly mentally, emotionally and for the most part physically unavailable to me as a child and then a young man growing up. I was never abused physically but lacked much regarding mentorship from my dad. I understand a great deal about the journey from boyhood to manhood.

2. Why write this story now?

When would be a better time? In my mind this topic of providing clear and consistent mentorship and guidance for our young men is the single most important social issue of our time. Many of our families are unhealthy because of the issue I have written about and if families are unhealthy so are our communities. It can be no other way. There is an ‘elephant’ in the room that no one seems to want to address or acknowlege. There are 2 and perhaps 3 generations of young men who have been victimized and shaped by the lack of mentorship in their lives. As a result they have become hopeless, in many cases directionless, uncaring about themselves and the public they live in. They don’t believe that life holds any promise of change for them. Some have become suicidal. Many are living extremely distorted lives that are riddled with feelings and expectations of entitlement.0

Could there be a better time to begin to address this problem and to create an awareness of what we can do to begin to alter the direction we have come to accept as ‘that’s just the way it is’. We need to create a critical mass of fathers who are willing to step up and assume some responsibility for the life they helped create. It needs to be a community effort–one of support and encouragement and not judgement, condemnation and penalty. The fathers in question need to know that they can still make a differnce in the lives of their sons but the longer they wait the more difficult the task becomes.

3. Who can benefit from this book and the story?

Single moms, single dads, grandparents, the legal and judicial system, the educational system, Big Brothers/Big Sisters, Family and Childrens Services, private and public counsellors and certainly the young men themselves can benefit from reading this book. I believe that it is an important resource to be used as it helps to educate and outline what can be done. Through the story line and dialogue the book illustrates one way of how to do it. Many young men tell me that they can identify with Jacob (now 17 years old in the story) and it makes it easier for them to talk about their issues through the character in the book.

4. Where can the book be purchased and how much is it?

The easiest way is to go to ‘Jim’s Store’ which is listed on the navigation bar on this site. Just fill out the quick and easy form which utilizes Paypal as a receiver of your payment. They will send me notification of receiving your payment and your mailing particulars and I will send you the book or you could order it through Amazon.ca but I believe it is a bit more expensive doing it that way. If you have any questions about purchasing the book or any other question please contact me at jim@lifechoice.ca and I will get back to you as soon as possible.

Thank you for your interest and your caring. All the best,

LifeChoice – A Division of Millennia Consulting Services
Contact:  jim.lifechoice@gmail.com

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