In May of 2016 I wrote an article titled:’Many Kids Think Their Parents Are Obsolete . . . True?’ I received some interesting feedback suggesting that I was way off base. So I ask again–when you, as a co-parent, a private citizen with no kids or a single parent judge our history from that time until now and with the rise in violent crime perpetrated by our youth in the interim are you still sold on the idea that generally speaking, folks are doing a great job parenting their kids?
Kids must be smarter than their parents because the parents of the day have not learned much about what they need to be doing differently, as parents, to answer the call of their kids. Children are fast becoming their own parents. Once they get there they will not need and in some cases want their ‘real’ parents anymore. Is this a good thing? No–likely it is one of the greatest blunders of our so called modern and enlightened age.
Oh there is more than enough blame to go around when we think about how we have treated or rather mistreated our children. The legal system, with their archaic rules and beliefs, needs to accept the lions share in my mind. Parents of course rank high on the list and one of the greater offenders is the educational system. But when I think about child abuse there are no greater offenders than parents themselves. I will say that there are some wonderful parents–great parents who have accepted the gift of being a parent and the opportunity to shape a human life with enthusiasm and openness. They have become tremendous role models for their kids. They have taken the time to learn how to be good parents and more important what it is that their kids need from them as good parents. That said there are some parents who continue to ignore the opportunity that has been given them to play an active role in determining what the next generation of human beings will be like. Will they be generous and kind? or will they be selfish and violent?
Most parents would say that they are good parents because their kids have all the toys, advantages of up-to-date technology, the best of this and the best of that. They would also likely say that they are just too busy doing other things to spend the kind of time that I have suggested they need to spend with their children. They don’t seem to understand that there is no substitute for parental quality time. To provide anything less is to abuse your kids. You are withholding or taking away one of the most important life affirming needs of any child. It’s close to being the same as withholding food or shelter.
We usually consider a divorce or separation as a familial structural defect. For a kid to live in an environment where he/she has little or no emotional and physical connection is every bit as much a defect and a breakdown of the family structure as anything else could be.
The following is information that has been documented and researched. It is NOT fake news. If you need more information then take some of your precious time and do your own research. It’s all out there. I’ve indicated some of what happens when kids are ignored or feel disconnected from a healthy family structure or unit:
- Educational performance is affected. More kids underperform at school and the drop out rates go higher .
- Crime rates increase in households where parents are too busy to parent and spend little quality time with their kids.
- Incidence of drug use/abuse increases. With no time given to supervising kids, those kids have been known to experiment under the watchful eye of their peers and potential dealers.
- Increase in sexual acting out–nothing gets a parents attention like an early pregnancy by son or daughter or contracting a disease of some kind. Condoms don’t stop everything.
- Increase in physical and mental health problems–depression, anxiety, and child suicide rates or attempts certainly rise.
Are parents smarter than their kids? They should be but are they? You be the judge. My inclination is to say NO they are not. If they were they would recognize what they are or are not doing and would make an effort to change what they need to change. The kids are just kids. They are not supposed to know this stuff. Parents are.
Anyways, that’s how I see things. Comments are welcomed at: firstname.lastname@example.org
Please pass this along to family or friends who might benefit–thanks for stopping by.
With thanks, Jim
The photo resource, from ‘belfasttelegraph.co.uk’,In May of 2016 I wrote an article entitled ‘ is being used for education, research and/or criticism purposes only. I do not derive any financial benefit from the use of this photo.