Oddly enough, leaders don’t often get a chance to really lead. There are favours to repay and obligations to honor. There are groups to keep happy and there are groups that you don’t want to be happy. But seldom does a leader, such as Barack Obama, who has the charisma and eloquence to hold the attention of millions, have an opportunity to be profound to the point where the world would stop and listen. He could go down in history as a true visionary. He will get his library and his place in the presidential photo album but he had a chance in the last week to make an impact on society that few ever get. Good leaders see that chance when it presents itself–Barack missed it. It was three words long and he missed it. These three simple words would have been remembered as remarkable and timeless similar to Nancy Reagan’s ‘just say no’.
The words were simply: “ALL LIVES MATTER.” This means not only Black lives but Red lives, Yellow lives, White lives, Brown lives, Hispanic lives and German lives. It was such a glorious opportunity to drive home the message that not only are black people dying but so are many others from across the ethnic and cultural spectrum. It was a time when he could have driven home the idea that EVERYONE needs to be valued and there is nothing to be gained by favouring one group over others. We cannot let parts of society and bigoted groups determine the fate of the free world by feeding the hatred of ignorant greedy people. He had a chance to show that he truly believes that ALL people deserve an equal place and that those who are afflicted with mental illnesses have a rightful place also. He did not do that. He succumbed to the hipocrisy of Black leaders who only see the problem as a black one and have written off all the others who deserve to be included. Barack Obama had a chance to stand up and tell the world that HE believes no one group has more of a right to live a life of promise and possibility than another. He needed to state clearly that in order for us to turn this corner we need to stop promoting the idea this is just a black issue. He didn’t do that–he blew it.
5 Reasons to Wait To Get Married:
Take a look at the pic at the top of the page and ask yourself is this what you want for your kids? Here are 5 things we need to teach our kids about marriage and relationships.
1. One of the biggest mistakes that most couples make is they get married far too early. We all need time to decide who we are, what we like and what we DON’T like. People need to take the time to live bit before marriage not after. Doing that personal research after getting married usually ends up seeing one or both people having to change the other persons’ behavior or thoughts to suit what they want. Pursue that course and ?–now there’s a divorce in the making. The likelihood is that the other person will end up trying to do the same thing.
2. Kids are living at home much longer than previous generations. Many young men who get out on their own do so after living with ‘mom’ for 5-10 years longer than they should. When they begin to look for a partner they are often trying to find another ‘mom’ and the rest is evident.
3. Being alone for a time before marriage is vitally important. People need an opportunity to experience being alone, the freedoms it provides and the lessons that are learned about being self-sufficient and self sustaining. Yet how many couples get married because they want a room mate and then find it difficult to ‘tolerate’ the habits of the person they are hoping to spend the rest of their lives with. There is a difference between being alone and being lonely. Learn what that difference is first then start looking for a partner.
4. Good or bad sex has maintained or destroyed many a relationship. Be sure you understand what makes you tick regarding sexual expression both giving and receiving and that takes a bit of time to “research.” Once you understand that about yourself be real clear with each other and that you and your partner are on the same page(s) here before the ring thing happens. Being with the right sexual partner is one of the great gifts of marriage-a chance to give to the other what others will never experience or understand about you.
5. Having a baby is never a good reason to get married. Couples need to ‘learn’ how to live together or spend periods of time together BEFORE they exchange marriage vows. Then they need to learn how to share the responsibility of being married and then they need to discuss what being a parent means to each of them and what are the expectations each has of the other. Once all that is done THEN get down to the pleasure and the excitement of creating another human life for the planet to enjoy.
My Music Video Of The Week:
Why aren’t these guys in the Rock N’ Roll Hall of Fame??–they have been doing this for a long time and still sound great. They were ahead of their time, created instruments that other bands couldn’t or hadn’t thought of and have sold 10’s of millions of albums, Cd’s and videos–it’s time.
Radio Interview This Week:
I have the good fortune of being invited back to do another live radio interview with Annette Rochelle Aben on Friday the 15th. Annette and I will continue our conversation about father-less sons, the difficulties single moms are having trying to do the right things, how the system has all but failed to reach out to these folks. Check out Annette’s web site–Annette Rochelle Aben.com. She has authored 8 books of her own, she is a great writer with a unique style and a great communicator and interviewer.
If you want to tune in to listen to the interview please go to: annetterochelleaben.com. Once there click on the Title–‘Permission to Think with James Cloughley’. The name of the show is “Tell Me A Story”
Anyways, that’s how I see it–all the best, Jim
PS…….I may not get back in time to put anything together next week but I will return to this space in two weeks. I’m going AWOL and looking forward to it.
Comments about this weeks article and news letter are welcomed. Contact me at: firstname.lastname@example.org