What Happened And What’s Coming Up . . .


A pictorial of some of our best political thinkers–oops!


The series is done:

Finished up the series I was doing with Dr. Anne Marie Evers on contacttalkradio.com. A gracious and very knowledgeable  hostess and interviewer as well as being an accomplished author of 8 books on the role and strength of affirmations. The full series of 5 interviews is now available for listening on my web site at jimcloughley.com—media page. Just click on the ‘listen’ button and the interview for that ‘cornerstone’ is ready to play. We spoke about a general overview of my book: ‘A Man’s Work Is Never Done: A Novel About Mentoring Our Sons’ and then focused on each ‘cornerstone’ covering topics like a)  developing and maintaining a positive sense of self worth and self value; b)  using your anger to institute positive change in your life–a positive motivator for change; c)  living in relationships with family and community and d)  a new way to build positive relationships between parent and child and produce less stress doing so. Great resource for single moms, single dads and grandparents.

The Mind And Body Makeover: Improving Relationships From Head To Toe

Check out this great workshop  to be presented by Velda Ford and Roxanne Derhodge designed to put some fire back into your personal relationships. To learn more about this exciting and innovative approach to heating up your personal and intimate relationships just click on the highlighted text.

The APSGO Conference:

Getting ready to attend and present a workshop for APSGO (The Association of Parent Sup[port Groups in Ontario, Inc.) to be held in NewMarket, Ontario. If you want to know more about this great event and the numerous benefits and new strategies that parents will come away with click on the highlighted text for more information.


My Music Video Pick For The Week:


My Favourite group of all time. I was brought up with these guys in the 60’s. They were innovative, creative and light years ahead of their time. They are still touring and are as good now or better than they were in the 60’s. That means that they have been creating and producing music for over 50 years and yet they have not been enshrined in the Hall of Fame which, in my opinion, needs to be re-named the Hall of Shame. When I think of some of the bands that have made the Hall and these guys haven’t been considered it makes me wonder about how political gaining entrance to the Hall is. At any rate this video is not the best quality but the sound is pretty good. Great tune by a great band. Enjoy.


If you have any requests or suggestions for this spot in my newsletter please let me know what they are. You can connect with me at jim.lifechoice@gmail.com    OR at jimcloughley.com

All the best, JIm


The Week That Was . . .

An interesting week as they most always are:

Some folks will tell you they are busier now that they have retired than they had been at any other time in their lives. Honestly I was a bit scepticle of that statement but I have found that it is mostly true.

Did the third of a series of four podcasts:

I connected once again with Dr.Anne Marie Evers to talk about the third in a series of four podcasts regardng my book “A Man’s Work Is Never Done: A Novel About Mentoring Our Sons.’ We have been discussing each of the 4 ‘cornerstones’ needed to create a healthy and fulfilling life. During previous discussions we talked about developing a positive sense of self-value/self-esteem; anger and how it can be seen and used as a positive motivating force in our lives and living in relationships with others as well as ourselves. Next week we will talk about the fourth and final cornerstone dealing with parenting and the importance of co-parenting our children.

The broadcasts can be heard on contacttalkradio.com. Just type it in on your browser and go to the Dr. Anne Marie Evers show. It will be on the air on Saturday October 17th between 3-4pm EST or if you miss that one the link will be on my web site by Wednesday, October 21st. Just go to jimcloughley.com then go to the media page and click on the link.

Still a few spots open for speaks:

I still have a few opportunities available to speak to groups, meetings or to do ‘lunch and learns’ for businesses. If you are looking for a speaker contact me at jimcloughley.com and go to my contact page or send me an email at jim.lifechoice@gmail.com and I will be pleased to return your call.

Write your book in 90 days:

We did a writers workshop back in August but we are still offering that program on line including one to one support. If you have a book you want to write and self publish please to contact me at the above email address or go to my web page for more information. We can save you a great deal of time and resources ($) and provide you with more information than you thought possible for a very reasonable fee. Don’t let the concern about how to publish your work or how to market your work keep you from getting back to us. You will be surprised how simple it is to get your book out there if you are willing to do the work. You bring your skill and talent and we’ll help you with the rest.

APSGO.ca Conference–coming up soon:

I have been asked to present a workshop based on my book at The APSGO conference which is scheduled for November 7th in Newmarket. APSGO is the Association of Parenting Support Groups in Ontario Inc. They provide great services to parents who are challenged with parenting their children. They offer strategies, support, skill development and much more to those parents who desire a more fulfilling and less stressful family life with their children. Go to APSGO.ca for more information regarding what they do and how they do it. Everyone is welcomed to attend–it should be a promising day for all.

Video pick for the week:

It seems to me that humanity could take a lesson from our 4 legged friend. How different would our lives be if we simply loved more and judged less. Amazing.

All the best, Jim

2 Lists That Could Change The Course Of Your Life–Forever

Two OCeans Meeting.Gulf of Alaska

Two Oceans Meeting Each Other–Photographer Unknown To Me

I’m a guy who doesn’t believe in coincidence. I believe that things happen for a reason and that they are opportunities I can learn from to use at a time to come. I meet particular people at particular times because they have something to tell me or I have/know something that they need to learn from me. We either stay connected or we each move on because the contact and exchange has been made.

Such is the case with relationships which can be either spiritual, personal or professional. How successful they are depends on how open we are to learning or hearing new information.

I have come to understand that the world is governed by two basic means. Those means are either by macro management or by micro management. Macro management would be undertaken by world forces, political groups, movements directed by a critical mass of people for a common cause–Greenpeace comes to mind or the opposition to the Vietnam War and how a critical mass of anti-war folks were able to change the course of the US military involvement. Micro managing, then, recognizes what we each do each day to exist, to produce, to continue the species–basically to ensure that the world keeps turning so that the macro guys can keep doing what they do. Is it ideal? I don’t think so. Is there a better system or way? I’m sure there is but we have not figured that part out yet.

One of the most important micro managing undertakings is learning how to, effectively, communicate with each other. How do we get our individual needs met in a relationship and be sure that ‘the other person’ is getting their needs met as well? The 2 lists I mentioned above are specifically intended for the use of people who are in a personal relationship and may be struggling a bit to try to understand the ‘other person’ so that a state of harmony is more of a reality than an expectation. The health, well being, stability, strength and prosperity of our families, homes and communities is at risk here and we need to get this right.

So the two lists that I have posted below are here because I feel they represent the essence of what we need to understand about each other. Wouldn’t you rather get along with each other and exist in some sort of state of happiness, satisfaction, understanding and peace? I take no credit for the first one. I came across it quite by accident. Actually I wrote a post previously about this one but have had folks ask me to publish it again and it fit perfectly with the theme of this article. The second list is one that I put together from things I have learned along my way from important others who passed in and out of my life for the sole purpose of giving me their wisdoms.

This list was written primarily for the benefit of men. As men in an ever-changing world we need our counterparts to say what they need to say in clear basic terms. The more words that are spoken the more confusing it becomes which leaves us wondering how to respond.

‘Nine most important words or phrases spoken by women’:

1. FINE-this is used to end a discussion or argument when women are right and need us to shut up and move on.
2. FIVE MINUTES–we need to understand that five minutes is never five minutes and no matter how long it takes–that’s how long it takes. This is true especially if she is preparing to go out somewhere special. Not always true, however, if there is 5 minutes left in a playoff game that you had wanted to watch all week and she would like you to do something that is important and time sensitive.
3. NOTHING–Look out here gents. Something is building or about to happen and you may just be the target here. NOTHING usually ends up with FINE.
4. GO AHEAD–This is a dare and not permission. The only rational suggestion here is DON’T DO IT
5. A LOUD SIGH–Although is doesn’t sound like a word it is. This is a type of non-verbal communication that basically says she can’t believe what an idiot you are. She just doesn’t get why she is still standing there arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to #3 for the meaning of nothing).
6. THAT’S OK–This is typically one of the most dangerous statements that she can make. It means that she will think long and hard about how and when you will pay for your mistake.
7. THANKS–She is thanking you for something you have done. Don’t question it–just say “you’re welcome” and move on quickly. If, however, ‘thanks’ is followed by ‘a lot’ then you are in deeper than you want to be and don’t, under any circumstances, follow that with’you’re welcome’. If you do you will likely find out quickly’ what ‘whatever’ really means–that’s #8.
8. WHATEVER–This one is easy to get. It means–‘just take a freakin’ ride’
9. DON”T WORRY ABOUT IT, I’VE GOT IT–After repeated attempts to get you to do something and you have yet to get started, this is she saying she’ll do it herself. If you get here and ask her what’s wrong you will find it is not far to #3 and you know how the rest is likely to go.

This list is written primarily for women hopefully to help them understand a bit more about us (men) and why we do/think/say what we do.

1. If you don’t want to hear the answer then please don’t ask the question.
2. At the very least, try treating us as well as you treat your friends.
3. If you feel you really need to know then ask but remember #1 is still in play
4. If we walk away, it’s because we need time to think and not because we don’t care. Leave us alone and we’ll get back to you.
5. Say what you mean and mean what you say. Let’s keep it simple.
6. If you want the friggin’ seat down then learn to put it up when YOU are done.
7. If we ask ‘what is wrong’ and you say nothing, that’s good enough for us–see #5
8. Please. If you feel you are carrying a couple of extra pounds you probably are. Don’t expect us to lie if we are asked and then question our honesty.
9. If we are going to have words, let’s be sure that we both get to use them and not at the same time.
10.We think of hair rollers, fuzzy slippers, old terry cloth house coats and knee-highs as natural birth control devices.

I recognize that these lists don’t take into consideration all the things that we may want or need to enjoy a satisfying relationship but it’s a good start. Besides, two things are likely to happen if our relationships are strong and healthy: our children will learn from our example and we are likely to have fewer single parented homes.

Anyways, that’s how I see it

All the best, Jim

As always your opinions and comments are most welcome. Please contact me at jamescloughley.com OR jim.lifechoice@gmail.com

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