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There has to be another way of helping our kids get their needs met beside allowing and, in some cases, condoning aggressive, rude, or manipulative behaviour. But many parents are at a loss as to what those methods or ways are. Many more are feeling as though they have tried everything they could with no satisfying results in return. The children are now running their own ‘show’. When opportunities for parents to learn a new skill come along we often hear parents say “those methods might work with other families but not mine.” Consequently many parents get pulled into power struggles with their kids and many just give up hoping that it is a phase that their kids are going through.
We live in times where everyone has rights but no one has responsibilities and this is more true for our kids than anyone else right now. This is the age of ‘entitlement’. I agree that we need to ensure that our rights and the rights of our children are respected and not violated. However, this cannot happen at the expense of someone else’s rights. What parents are missing, unfortunately, is the opportunity to convert the teachable moments that are so vitally important to our childrens’ social development. Helping our children learn important strategies concerning speaking their truth without being obnoxious or finding the courage to speak out sometimes to say “I don’t like that” or “I’m not going to do that” is part of our responsibility as parents. Our children depend on us to teach them how to be safe and respectful of others rights. How can we, as parents, expect our children to be responsible if we are not willing to demonstrate that same responsibility so they know what it looks or sounds like. We parents are supposed to be their teachers. It is the role we are to play in the big scheme of things. They expect us to help them grow into insightful human beings and when we don’t have time for them or make the effort to be a teacher we disappoint them-deeply.
On May 24th, 2016 I published an article titled: “Many Kids Think Their Parents Are Obsolete.” In it I speak about the things that parents need to start doing differently if they want to relate differently to their kids. Right now many kids are feeling as though they are second best at best.
I was asked to re-post the following article by a group named: Xooloo, Your Child’s Digital Life. Apparently Xooloo and I we see this situation with our kids in a similar fashion.
I highly recommend this article especially for parents who are struggling with how to connect or re-connect with their kids. The article suggest some very valuable strategies and insights that can assist parents who are feeling discouraged, lost, angry, and at their wits end. It is a great read and it is short. This could be the best 5 minutes you have spent trying to figure out how to establish an appropriate parent-child relationship. Nothing to lose here and everything to gain. Enjoy the read–Jim
Anyways, that’s how I see things.
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Thanks for stopping by, all the best, Jim